As we go through life, the way we see ourselves changes. One day we look in the mirror and decide something just isn’t as good as it used to be. Or we suddenly don’t like a particular part of our body. Our body didn’t change overnight, unless it was result of a surgery or accident. So what did change? Our thoughts.

Everyone has anxiety over their looks to some degree. Especially when they are being photographed. And when you first look at a photo of yourself, you focus on the areas you perceive to be problematic. Right? Even with a group photo, your eye goes first to how you look.

This isn’t a helpful mindset. The boudoir mindset is more about self-love, body positivity and feelings. While boudoir photos can help you get there, you’ll still need to do the mental work.

“You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

A.A. Milne

Thoughts on achieving a boudoir mindset

Before your boudoir session, it is important to address any negative self-talk you may be having about your body. The photos will then reinforce the fact you are a beautiful woman.

Changing the internal conversation

If you look in the mirror and think, “I look awful!” you will feel that way. Instead, show yourself some compassion. Say something like: “I’m not happy with how I look today, but that’s okay. Everyone feels like that sometimes. How I feel about my appearance today doesn’t affect my worth as a woman.”

No one likes how they look all the time, that’s completely normal. The last thing you want to do is beat yourself up over it. That just makes it worse. Just accept that you will have negative feelings at times, forgive yourself and move forward.

Instead of telling yourself, “I hate my (insert any body part)!” Shut down that voice instantly. If you wouldn’t say it to someone you care about, why should you be allowed to say it to yourself?

Change that statement to one of gratitude. These are the legs that let me get around so I can help my family and work. These are the arms I use to hug people I love and care about. This is the stomach that turns food into energy so I have the strength to do what needs to be done.

Don’t think of your body in terms of looks, think of it in terms of the impact it allows you to make in the lives of others.

Another one of my favorite sayings is:

Don’t worry about imperfections. The word ‘imperfection’ is derived from ‘perfection’. Even the most imperfect thing has an element of perfection in it.

Treat your body with compassion. It has gotten you this far in life and deserves your respect and kindness.


  • Swap judgement for kindness.
  • Laugh when you want to.
  • Be gentle with yourself through this process
  • Don’t dwell in comparison because everyone is different and you are uniquely you!

So change your self-talk to create your boudoir mindset. Focus on what you like, what you love, what is beautiful and what your body can do. Then you will see the whole picture, a beautiful you!

Ready to start planning your Boudoir Experience?
I would love to chat with you and go over all the details of our process, sessions and what you are wanting to create so we can plan the perfect boudoir experience for you.

Ready to chat NOW?
Text me at: 410-596-4127

Office Hours are Monday – Friday 9am – 5pm.

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