When you are constantly on the go and always concentrating on other things, it’s easy to lose yourself along the way. If you are tired, or run down and stop for a moment, you look in the mirror and think “Ugh!” At that point you wonder if you can even remember how to feel beautiful again.
What compounds the problem is that we all have an inner critic. That little voice inside your head that says, “I hate my nose.” “The scar on my forehead is hideous!” Your inner voice probably says a lot worse too.
It can be difficult to see yourself as beautiful with all this going on. And when you don’t feel beautiful, your mind won’t allow you to see yourself that way.
How do I stop feeling unattractive?
The reality is that everyone is uniquely beautiful in their own way. Beauty is more than your physical appearance, it combines with your mental state and confidence. Since your thoughts are causing the real issue, the key to understanding how to feel beautiful again will require you to think differently about yourself.
Like anyone else, there are days I feel beautiful and days I don’t, and when I don’t, I do something about it.
– Cheryl Tiegs
Action steps on how to feel beautiful …
1. Silence your inner critic
We need to stop being our own worst critic. If your inner voice continues to tear you down, it will be harder to pull yourself up.
When you look in the mirror, don’t pass judgement on yourself. That scar isn’t a flaw, it is a memory from an injury. Stretch marks on your stomach aren’t ugly, they are from bearing your children who you love and are an important part of your life.
Look at your physical body the same way you would look at a friend. Show compassion and acceptance, don’t allow criticism to creep in.
That sounds good in theory, but there will be days your inner voice breaks through anyway. Don’t worry, no one can be up all the time, emotions ebb and flow. If this happens, don’t beat yourself up, just answer it with what you do love about yourself and move on.
2. Admire yourself
This isn’t vain or conceited, it is going to help you re-wire your thought patterns about how you look.
When most people look in a mirror, their eyes immediately go to areas they perceive as flawed. What you brain thinks, your brain makes you see. So let’s change this up.
Think about the things you admire or like about yourself. Maybe you love the shade of your eyes, or the way your smile looks.
Next time you look in a mirror, go straight to what you admire about yourself. Look at it and feel proud of this! Instantly your entire mood will be lifted by the positive, instead of being brought down by the negative.
3. How to feel beautiful and confident: Straighten up!
Your posture actually has an affect on your thoughts! When you stand straight up, shoulders back, chest out, you not only appear more confident to others, you feel more confident yourself. This has an impact on your thought patterns, because when you feel confident, it is harder for negative messages to take root.
How I feel about myself is more important than how I look. Feeling confident, being comfortable in your skin that’s what really makes you beautiful.
– Bobbi Brown
4. Make yourself beautiful and attractive: SMILE!
Smiling faces are much more attractive than those that don’t smile. A smile does three important things. First, it makes you appear friendlier, happier and approachable. Second, it is infectious and helps other people feel better about themselves. And third, it gives your brain an instant mood boost, which continues to grow as others smile back at you.
So even if you don’t feel like smiling, give it a go. Pretty soon you will be feeling better and the smile will become real.
5. Things that make you feel beautiful: Relaxation
At the start of this article I talked about how being on the go all the time can make you feel rundown. You need to give yourself some self-care and learn to relax and recharge.
When you are relaxed, just like smiling, the effect ripples out toward others. They will respond in a positive manner and that will help you feel more attractive.
So how can you relieve tension? Practice the art of deep breathing. It will help you feel and look more at ease. Other techniques include muscle relaxation, yoga and meditation.
The less tension you carry, the better you will feel about yourself.
6. Make yourself comfortable
The way you view your body is made up of both internal and external stimuli. External, when you see a number on a scale or look in a mirror, these inputs can have an affect. Internal, how you physically feel.
The physical feeling of tight clothing tells your brain you aren’t thin enough to fit in what you are wearing. Well fitting clothes remove these feelings of constriction.
So when you are shopping, buy clothing that is stylish to make you look good and fitting your body now. Buying clothes for a future weight loss goal does nothing to help the way you currently feel about your body.
Remember to make sure you are not only comfortable, but the clothes make you feel good about yourself. Looking like you just walked out of an alley may feel comfortable, but isn’t very helpful to your self-esteem.
Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.
– Sophia Loren
7. Brighten up to feel more beautiful
While we are on the topic of clothing, keep in mind that a bit of color can lighten your mood and make you more attractive. Whether it is the color of your outfit, jacket, scarf or jewelry, color can help you pop!
There are different schools of thought on what color will make you feel the best. Some say blue is a “happy color” and you should select a blue that offsets your skin tone, either royal or ice blue. Others say that red is the color that grabs attention and draws people to you. Either outfit of lip color and you’ll get noticed.
When you look good and draw attention, it makes you feel more beautiful!
8. Smell beautiful
The way you smell affects how you feel about yourself too. Severely depressed people can get to a point they stop showering and getting dressed. This spiral continues until they force themselves to start caring for themselves again.
Certain scents trigger our emotions when we inhale them. Just as bad smells can spiral the depressed person down, other scents can give the brain a boost.
So while you are out shopping, don’t forget to look for a scent that reminds you of something happy or positive.
9. Things that can make you feel beautiful again: Compliments
Somewhere along the line, we all stopped being able to accept compliments. When we were kids, this wasn’t a problem, getting a compliment made us feel proud. As adults, we are often dismissive, saying something to downplay the praise and attention.
One of the ways to feel beautiful again is to learn to accept the compliments of others. Let their positivity in, it will make you feel better! So the next time someone compliments you, I challenge you to say, “Thank you so much! I appreciate that!” It will raise your self-esteem.
If you want to share the positive feelings, find a way to compliment them too!
It’s not vanity to feel you have a right to be beautiful. Women are taught to feel we’re not good enough, that we must live up to someone else’s standards. But my aim is to cherish myself as I am.
– Elle Mcpherson
10. The importance of positive relationships
The saying “You are the people you hang out with,” is true. Our social life plays a big part in how we act and feel about ourselves.
If your friends are critical of their own bodies, or of other people, it is hard to feel good about how you look. If your friends are positive and uplifting and feel good about themselves, your attitude will change for the better. Plus, they will be there to support you when you have self-image problems.
11. Start moving
I’m talking about that word a lot of people fear: exercise. Exercise releases endorphins and makes you feel better about yourself. It helps you feel energized and happier because you are active and taking steps to better yourself.
Plus, exercise has other benefits, it helps with weight loss, reduces depression and provides a lower risk of heart disease.
If you are out of shape, talk to your doctor before starting any exercise program. But when I started taking brisk walks every day, I started feeling better and was able to slowly upgrade my exercise habits. (Plus I felt much better about myself!)
12. Eat healthy
Healthy eating doesn’t mean going on a diet. Eating a healthy diet means learning more about nutrition and using that knowledge when you prepare meals. Add more fresh veggies and fruit and cook with variety. Avoid foods loaded with fat, sugar and salt.
That doesn’t mean you can’t have ice cream or fast food once and awhile. Just exercise moderation. Eating healthy will help your body feel better and allow your brain to feel better about your body.
Although beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, the feeling of being beautiful exists solely in the mind of the beheld.
– Martha Beck
13. Stop comparing yourself to others
You know this, but do you practice this? When we look at photos on social media, in magazines, on television and in advertising, everyone looks so happy and perfect. It is human nature to compare that idea to our own life. The problem is, none of that is real.
When you see the photo of societies view of “the perfect woman,” you are seeing unrealistic standards. Most images used in magazines and advertising are retouched. Even Angelina Jolie doesn’t look like Angelina Jolie. Movies, television and advertising photographers use lighting techniques, high end cameras, high quality lenses and makeup artists to create their looks. Photoshop and other editing software clean up problems. It isn’t real!
When you see women posting their selfies on Instagram and FaceBook, you don’t see all the ones they don’t share! When you see someone who seems to have the perfect life, it is because they only share what they want you to see. It is called selective transparency.
To combat this, instead of comparing yourself, focus on your accomplishments. Think about everything you bring to the table.
14. Remember that beauty doesn’t equal happy
People who society deem “beautiful” are no happier than anyone else. It isn’t what is on the outside, but what is on the inside that counts. I’ve taken photos of plenty of “beautiful” women and I can tell you not all of them are beautiful people.
A sense of meaning and purpose are what influence happiness the most. So take care of what’s on the inside and the rest will fall into line.
15. Focus on what you love
Spend time doing things you love. If you love cooking, spend more time in the kitchen and share your labors. If you love crafting, craft away and give out some gifts. Sports your thing? Join a team and get some healthy competition.
By doing something you love, you are giving your mind a rest and showing yourself and others how talented and special you are.
When I lay my head on the pillow at night I can say I was a decent person today. That’s when I feel beautiful.
– Drew Barrymore
16. Use affirmations to help you feel beautiful again.
I’m not just talking about how to feel beautiful quotes, but affirmations of yourself too. Remind yourself as you look in the mirror each morning of all you have to offer the world. Praise the things you like about your looks, your smile, your eyes, etc. Praise your good qualities, you compassion, your sense of humor, your ability to love, and more.
When you first start doing this, it may feel weird, but if you make it a daily habit, you’ll find it motivating. It can turn your inner voice from critic to best friend.
Some people even write beauty affirmations on paper and leave them around their house or work space. This creates a way to carry those positive feelings throughout your day.
17. Get a really cute pet
Have you heard the saying pets and their owners resemble each other? If so, and you have a really cute pet, how can you not feel cute and beautiful yourself?
Showing a pet lots of love gets you out of your own head. They return the love and you get the benefits of unquestioning love from a beautiful, happy creature. Trusted companions, pets make you feel loved and cherished for who you are.
Getting a pet does require responsibility, attention and investment. You need to be able to take care of it, feed it, clean up after it and make sure it stays healthy, which includes annual visits to the vet. Pets aren’t cheap, but they are sooooo worth it for your state of mind.
18. Listen to music to improve your mood
Music can play a part in helping you to appreciate the beauty of life. Listen to music you love, it will uplift your spirits and your thoughts will follow!
Despite the message of self-doubt and inadequacy hammered home by the beauty industry, the truth is simple: If you feel gorgeous, you’ll look gorgeous.
– Anita Roddick
19. Flirt with others
Flirting can be fun and helps you to feel more attractive. Smile, laugh, make eye contact and you will instantly feel more attractive and confident about yourself.
20. Document your natural beauty
As a boudoir photographer, I help women rediscover their natural beauty with every photoshoot. The last thing you may feel confident doing, a boudoir session, is the thing that can prove your being too hard on yourself.
A boudoir session allows you to treat yourself to an amazing experience. You start by being pampered as our in-house professional makeup artist turns you into the most glamourous you imaginable. Then your photographer will guide you through a photoshoot that makes you feel like a supermodel!
You don’t have to worry about not knowing how to pose. I coach my clients every step of the way. Using poses that flatter your body style, lighting that flatters your look and high quality photographic equipment that captures your natural beauty.
Seeing the images straight from the camera will make you feel more beautiful and confident as the session progresses.
If you are wondering how to feel beautiful again, I recommend this opportunity. Not only is it an uplifting empowering experience, but you will have photographic proof if you ever start to feel less than beautiful again.
Remind yourself everyday that you are beautiful, whether you struggle to believe that or you already know.
– Becca Anderson
It is feel beautiful in your own skin
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it changes drastically from person to person. You can’t control what others think, but you can control what you think.
Wonder how to feel beautiful again? Think it!
The only person that matters is you. And women who think of themselves as beautiful have the confidence and inner spark that makes them beautiful.
So use these 20 tips and soon you will look and feel beautiful again.
Want to learn more about a Boudoir Experience?
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