Powerful Ways To Grow Your Self-Confidence And Boost Self-Esteem.


People with confidence succeed. People without confidence often don’t take the chance. This is true in dating, personal relationships, social situations, sports and business. You know you need to be confident, but how do you boost your self confidence as a woman and set yourself up for success?

What is self-confidence and why is it important?

Self-confidence is not arrogance:

There is a fine line between arrogance and self-confidence. Arrogance inflates what a person is actually capable of. An arrogant person believes they can do more than they actually can. It is a false sense of confidence that makes a person feel superior to others. An arrogant person will constantly claim their self-worth to anyone around them.

Self-confidence is:

Confidence on the other hand requires no such affirmations. Confidence does not mean you are not humble, it means that you can look at a challenge and assess your ability to succeed. Confidence means you are willing to step out of your comfort zone to achieve your goals.

A self-confident woman has the capability to overcome her fears. These fears may be fear of failure, criticism, looking foolish or fear of rejection. Everyone has fears, but a self-confident person pushes past them to succeed.

Self-confident women don’t rely on what others think to determine their own self-worth. They use criticisms and failures to improve themselves, not as a definition of who they are.

Self-confidence is not reckless, it is the belief in yourself that you have the ability to overcome challenges in front of you.

The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.

– Blake Lively

Failure is a part of life:

Everyone fails at some point, it is a part of life. Confidence means understanding a failure isn’t a reason to quit, but an opportunity to learn.

What is low self-esteem and how does it affect you?

Everyone suffers from low self-esteem on occasion. Low self-esteem in when you believe you are not good enough. It is the polar opposite of arrogance. Instead of believing you are better than you are, you think you are less than you actually are. You underestimate yourself.

How does this affect you?

Low self-esteem starts a cycle of self-criticism which is unhealthy. It can lead to anxiety and depression, in some cases with tragic endings.

Causes of low self-esteem:

Low self-esteem can be caused by failures, relationship breakups, depression and any situation that makes you question yourself.

Other causes of low self-esteem can stem from earlier relationships. For example negativity from a parent can cause a child to believe they aren’t good enough. An uninvolved parent can lead children to believe they aren’t worthy of attention. A parent who is too involved may not prepare their child for failure, which eventually happens to everyone.

Bullying and toxic relationships can cause low self-esteem. When you are constantly told you are not good enough it leads to a feeling of low self-worth. It is important to avoid or end these situations for your own sake.

Guilt over something you aren’t proud of can change the way you see your value. This can be a huge obstacle in the path of boosting self-confidence. If you have guilt, it is important you deal with this issue.

Comparison with others can also cause low self-esteem, especially in this day of social media. Competition is healthy, but comparison can leave you feeling inadequate. It is definitely not the way to boost your self-confidence.

Get more confidence by doing things that excite and frighten you.

– Jessica Williams

How to build your self-esteem & boost your self-confidence

As you can see, self-esteem and self-confidence intertwine. Without a healthy self-esteem, self-confidence will be elusive.

I am going to provide you with a series of exercises to grow your confidence and boost your self-esteem. Understand there may be set-backs along the way to increased self-confidence and that is okay. No one is perfect. When you experience a bad moment or bad day, the key is getting back to these exercises. Like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said:

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

Confidence building exercises:

The compliment journal

Get a notebook and start writing down what you like about yourself. When someone compliments you, write that down too. Make it a habit to add to the journal everyday, even minor successes can go into your journal.

Then, when you feel down or unworthy, read from the journal to remind yourself you are more than you believe at that moment. It will help raise your self-esteem and confidence in yourself.

Challenge your inner critic

We all have an inner critic, and there are times it helps us improve ourselves. But on occasion it will tell us we aren’t good enough or worthy enough. That is when you need to challenge the logic.

If your inner critic starts being negative, respond with something positive. Then ask yourself why the critic thinks you well fail. Are the points valid? Or created by a low sense of self-worth?

Remember that a low self-esteem can cloud your vision. If your inner critic is berating your physical body, remind yourself that you aren’t seeing what the rest of the world sees. Your beauty is made up of more than your physical body.

I think about trust and confidence as something that you earn every day, and we will keep at it, earning it every day.

– Lynn Good

Begin to help others

People with no confidence and a low self-esteem tend to dwell in their perceived inadequacies. If you constantly focus on insecurities, it can cripple your life. So change your focus by helping others.

Helping others not only feels good, but gives you a true sense of purpose. You may learn new things, develop new skills and form new interests. Not to mention that those you help will be grateful and provide content for your compliment journal!

Practice forgiveness

Grudges do nothing to make you feel better. By forgiving others for past discretions, you are taking your power back and moving on with your life.

Forgiving others will also help you forgive yourself. We talked about dealing with guilt earlier. Guilt can devastate a person’s self-esteem, so do what you can to atone and forgive yourself. There is no reason to continually beat yourself up over a past that can’t be changed.

Develop a healthy lifestyle

Feeling better about yourself is easier when you develop a healthier lifestyle. Practice good hygiene, dress in clothes that are comfortable and make you look and feel good. Eat better and exercise to boost your energy. Taking care of yourself will help boost your self confidence and self-esteem.

I think the best way to have confidence is not to allow everyone else’s insecurities to be your own.

– Jessie J

Don’t take life too seriously

It is important to be able to laugh at yourself. Taking life too seriously can cause low self-esteem when you experience failure, make a mistake or suffer a setback. Your worth isn’t tied to one moment of embarrassment, so practice forgiveness by forgiving yourself, laughing it off, learning from it and moving forward.

Realize failure isn’t the end

Life has ups and downs, ebbs and flows. At some point everyone experiences failures, some small, some large. But life isn’t constant success or failure. How you respond to your successes and failures will make an impact on your life.

When you experience a failure, it isn’t a reflection of your value. Examine why you failed, learn from the experience and move forward knowing you are smarter than you were.

Seek help

It can be difficult to grow your self-confidence when self-doubt has controlled your life. If you have trouble making this journey on your own, there is no shame in seeking help from a qualified therapist. They can help you form a personalized roadmap to self-confidence and improved self-esteem.

Confidence is key. Sometimes, you need to look like you’re confident even when you’re not.

– Vanessa Hudgens

How to grow and exercise your self-confidence

Now that you have the tools to boost your self-esteem and self-confidence, it is time to put it to work. Exercising your self-confidence will allow it to grow and improve other aspects of your life.

Take on new challenges

Your comfort zone is a safe place, but allows no growth or improvement. The status quo obviously hasn’t worked to your benefit, so look for new challenges. Push yourself out of your comfort zone by tackling these new tasks. Each time you experience a success, your confidence will grow stronger.

Set new goals

Set new goals both in your business and personal life. Don’t just create wishes, actually figure out what steps you must take to achieve these goals. Put your mind to work and believe you can reach these goals. Then start taking the steps to get there.

Remember if you have a setback or failure at any point to look at why and then figure out a path around, over or through the obstacle. Belief in yourself and your abilities will continue to help you grow as a person. You owe that to yourself!

Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.

– Thomas Carlyle

Make criticisms a challenge

If you experience criticism, take that as a challenge to help you improve. You decide how you react to what others say. If the criticism is legitimate, take it on and improve from it. If it is from a place of hurt or someone who lashes out to feel better about themself, drop it and forget it. What others think of you doesn’t matter and can’t be controlled. What you think of yourself can!

Examine your relationships

We are who we hang out with. If you have friends who sit around and complain about themselves, how they look, their failures, etc. find new friends! If your relationship is toxic, don’t hang in because it is easy, find a way out.

Surround yourself with supportive friends that build you up. Friends that compliment and help others. People who are positive. It will do wonders for your self-esteem and self-confidence.

I hope you found these tips on how to boost your self confidence helpful. If so, please share it with your friends who may benefit from a self-confidence boost!

Thanks for reading!

Thomas Crowl is a boudoir photographer based in Westminster, Maryland. His studio helps women regain their self-confidence and self-esteem through intimate portraiture. To learn more about how a boudoir experience can help you regain your self-confidence, contact the studio for a free consultation call.

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