Like the song says, “Breaking up is hard to do …” and if you are the “breakee”, it can seem devastating when the “breaker” pulls the plug. There can be a lot of emotions to go through, but one thing is certain, wallowing in them is not healthy. So here are 7 ways to help you get over a breakup and improve yourself at the same time.
1. Don’t blame yourself
When I got separated, I carried a lot of baggage with me that wasn’t really mine. I wondered why my ex no longer loved me. I thought I was a lousy lover, not attractive enough, not a good person and I wasn’t worth being around.
It took a lot of time and, although I hate to admit it, alcohol, before I realized the problem wasn’t mine. Sure there were things I could have done better to try and keep the romance alive. Unfortunately, by the time I realized there was a problem and had started trying, it was too late.
At the same time, my ex could have done a lot of things differently too. So the blame didn’t really fall on either of us. Over time we had grown too far apart to stay together. As much as it hurt, we were better off without each other.
So don’t lay the blame on yourself, as easy as it is to do. You are enough and deserve to be happy. A toxic relationship isn’t one to stay in.
Never allow someone to be your priority
while allowing yourself to be their option.
2. Let go
This step isn’t easy either. It may take some time but the sooner you can put this in your past, the better. Accept that it wasn’t meant to be. That doesn’t mean you are a bad person, it means you realize you can’t change the past. Take what you’ve learned as a lesson and continue to move forward.
3. Make health a priority
Depression from a breakup can turn people into slugs. You don’t feel like getting out of bed, you don’t feel like cleaning up or taking care of hygiene and you’d rather snack and watch TV than anything else.
Fight depression by making your health a priority. Exercise to boost your endorphins, which will help you sleep better at night. Eat healthy, shower and brush your teeth and stay on a schedule with your life.
True love is true only when both the parties in the relationship are true.
4. Talk to friends
Breakups can cause us to lose perspective, so it is important to talk to your friends. They can help you deal with the emotions you will be going through.
Bouncing things off of other people help you to see things from different angles. That prevents you from narrowing down to tunnel vision of the events of the breakup.
I’m not advising you to jump from one relationship to another. I’m advising you to get out and connect with other people in a social setting. It is easy to cocoon in your home after a breakup, so reach out to family and friends and get out of the house!
Do something fun, laughter is the best medicine to help you heal.
6. Take some “me time”
Learn to be by yourself again and do things you enjoy. Read a book, take a class or online course, cook or bake something, start a new hobby or go visit a museum. Use your me time to grow as a person and improve yourself.
You can love them, forgive them, want good things for them …
and still move on without them.
7. Rediscover your beauty
A breakup can do horrible things to your self-esteem. You can lose your confidence and question your femininity. The event can put a damper on your sense of self-worth and sensuality. It can even cause body-image issues and feelings of not being attractive enough.
If this has happened to you, I invite you to step out of your comfort zone and try a boudoir photoshoot experience. About 50% of my clients have sessions for themselves for the reasons I just described. Some have gone through a breakup or divorce. Others have beaten a disease and others just want to treat themselves and feel good about themselves again.
Boudoir photoshoots empower women with confidence and self-esteem, which carry over into their relationships and every other phase of their lives.
If you’d like to know more about boudoir photography, just click this link. Should you decide you want to talk with a boudoir photographer to see if an experience would be right for you, feel free to reach out for a no-obligation consultation call.
After a breakup, rebuilding your confidence can take some time. You are not damaged, you will trust people again. So don’t despair. Give yourself time to heal and soon your will not only be over your breakup, you’ll be a better person because you moved forward.
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